(no subject)

[varadia]

Could someone talk to me, please?

I feel very small and lonely today.

Comments

[sociofemme.livejournal.com]

Zank you!

Oh, man. ::groans:: Now that was low.

Anyway, yeah, I read your post about being lonely. :( wah for my L! that's really harsh. ::hugs::

[varadia]

Are you okay, sweetie?

*hugs again*

[sociofemme.livejournal.com]

I'm in a very weird place. I feel like things are all normal, and I can recognize teh funny and even laugh, but it's a bit odd--the world is tilted, just a few degrees, and it's all tense like the moment before a kaleidoscope's shards fall into a new position, like waiting for something important, except you don't know what it is.

Like I have no right to be grieving yet, but it's still wrong of me to be happy, over anything, even stupid word-play jokes.

[varadia]

I remember that feeling. It sucks. Sometimes it helps to imagine if the person were well, that they would tell you you were being silly.

It only works if they actually would tell you that, though.

*hug*

It gets better, really, once things stop being in limbo.

[sociofemme.livejournal.com]

The limbo is the distressing part. I'll miss Grandma, certainly, but constantly on the worry-rollercoaster for years isn't a whole lot of fun.

Grandma would have told me I was being silly, back when she still remembered my name.

okay, and now i'm crying for real. bedtime for me i think. early flight in the morning.

one last supertight ::hug::

[varadia]

*hug*

*still hugging*

Have a good flight.