Crushing doom

[varadia]

So I was thinking about the stuff I talked about in counseling on Tuesday. I do, in fact, live with an overwhelming sense of doom every day. No, I mean it. I'm scared all the time. I'm scared of everything. I'm afraid of succeeding, I'm afraid of failing, I'm afraid of talking to people, I'm afraid of being alone, I'm afraid of showing all the bits of me that I need people to see, I'm afraid of hiding, because it's just not safe, I'm afraid of waking up, because so many bad things could happen, I'm afraid of not waking up, because that means I'm dead, I'm afraid of posting this damn message too. But I figure, since I deal with all this crap every day, a little bit more isn't so bad.

Go figure.